What to do if everyone around irritates me?
If a person is studying Kabbalah, then this is just a period that will go away and the person will change. He will take it as necessary, something he has to go over it. Be humble about it and go forward. If these irritations are given from above nothing else can be done.
If a person listens and does everything from the depth of his heart and ignores all suggestions, wishes, kind words, if he ignores absolutely everything and listens only from the deepest point in his heart – he will never make a mistake.
“I don’t understand anything that you are saying, but I feel that this is true. How to live with it ?”
Let it be like that. When you feel that this is true and don’t understand – this only shows that you are perceiving information correctly.
Kabbalists for centuries talked about things, how they really are, everything they said is true. And we shouldn’t reinterpret these stories from our point of view, but we should let everything pass a bit higher from us (higher in a sense of understanding, we see actions and possible outcomes, but there is still something hidden). Let all of the stories and truths pass near us and let’s observe how Creator swears on us, how he tries to correct us, shows us where and how should we change – and that’s enough.
When Michael Laitman was studying Kabbalah with his teacher also practically didn’t understand anything, he also felt that this is true.
This is how it’s given from above and you can’t do anything about it.
How do things that we say affect us?
They do affect us. That’s why silence is gold.
Should we do some sort of calculation about what we are about to say?
Of course. A lot of problems happen because of things we say.
How to correct ourselves? how do organize thoughts before saying them?
There is a saying, wise man see consequences. And because of that, we must understand what will happen next, if we choose to open our mouths. At first, we should try to see these things, and only then talk.
How do learn to see these things in advance?
In kabbalah, this is solved with the environment. We must create around ourselves the correct environment, it’s best that it was a 10 person group. And in that group, I need to make myself small and work according to the group, for the same goal. And then all my actions will be positive.
Mikhail Labkovsky defined six rules on how to reduce neurosis, stop all worries and live. Below you will find six rules and Michael Laitman comments on them.
First rule: Do only what you want to. Just listen to yourself, your feelings, and do everything how you like it.
Comment: Great. It’s hard to disagree with that. Every egoist will agree with that. We never lived like that. We all go to work … Well, it all depends on what you want. If my desires go against other people, against people that surround me then of course there will be a problem. How everyone will look at me when I get all my desires fulfilled.
Second rule: Don’t do things that you don’t want to. Acquiescence and compromises are the first steps before going to cardiologists and oncologists.
Comment: He is correct that inner resistance brings sickness and all problems to our lives. Well, but what can we do about this? We live in this world, we are not sons of kings, we can’t just do anything we want. I struggled a lot in my life because my parents allowed me too much when I was a kid. In my opinion, this is an incorrect relationship.
Third rule: You can’t do this to me, I don’t feel comfortable – this is the correct approach to solve situations. Say this only once, if the person doesn’t listen – leave a conversation, relation.
Comment: I can relate to this, of course, if it’s possible. I too wouldn’t go to work that I didn’t like, I didn’t talk to people that I don’t like, I would do only things that I like. I didn’t say what I didn’t like and said only things that I like. And would say directly to the person that I don’t like this conversation. But I don’t understand how he suggests we should do this.
Fourth rule: Don’t answer, when no one is asking, in the following style: I’m so tired, I don’t have the energy to deal with this. Situations when someone just brings up all issues when not asked about them should be avoided.
Comment: That’s correct, real, and reasonable to do.
Fifth rule: Answer only to the question that was asked, and do say anything more. When you answer only what was asked and nothing more – you look like a confident person.
Comment: Well this can be the correct approach. But then you won’t be able to continue the conversation and people will be thinking that you closed person, egoist, and that’s it.
Sixth rule: In a relationship always talk and comment on yourself and not another person. Don’t criticize others, by doing so you avoid conflicts.
Comment: Great, talk like this.
From all comments, we can understand that these rules are written for people that don’t live spiritual lives. It’s not possible to live by these rules. A surrounding environment will not allow us to live by them and will create situations against these rules. The environment will try to change and reform you. And it’s not correct when I talk only about what I want and when I want.
We must look above ourselves and think, what our environment, nature wants from us. Even excluding us from that plan, where everything is going, what nature wants from us. Nature wants to be absolutely alone and at the same time in rectilinear motion. This means that there exists a state where everything is connected, and in harmony. When we reach this state we will be able to apply parts of these six rules.
After reaching this new state, harmony with nature, six rules that we talked about will be applied automatically in the following way:
First rule: Your wishes will not be yours, do only what is necessary for everyone.
Second rule: Things that you want to do will change so drastically, that you will want to do them, and nothing else.
Third rule: You will start to feel all these conflicts, inconsistencies and you will immediately try to correct them.
Fourth rule: You will start to feel others and very acutely understand if it’s possible to help them.
Fifth rule: You will start to feel other people desires and they will determine your actions.
Sixth rule: Correct, everything depends only on you and you will feel like you are in the middle of the world, that you correct, reform, care about the entire world that surounds you.